Fears and Fall Writing

October 31, 2022

One of my childhood homes had a spiral staircase that led from the central part of the house up to a loft that served as my parent's bedroom. When we first moved in, the stairs were lined with beige carpet and the railing was painted an ugly, poop brown. My mother stripped the fabric from the steps and painted the metal staircase a melange of bright colors. It felt fun and welcoming during the day, but at night the spiral pattern loomed out of the shadows, twisted and unnatural in a way my young mind found unsettling. I was afraid of this staircase. I often imagined one of us slipping on the top step and falling head over feet down to the bottom, our bodies breaking and rearranging like a character in Death Becomes Her. Or I imagined our house on fire and my parents trapped in the loft, my siblings and I escaping into the yard and huddling together as the house burned and our parents’ screams echoed through the night. 

I didn’t sleep well as a child, too often plagued by vivid, terrifying dreams. I remember one night, sick with a fever, I awoke to the sound of a train. But it wasn’t a far-off signal, traveling through the dark from across town. No, this train was close, too close, and moving closer by the second. I stepped out of my bedroom as the train came barreling through the loft and down the spiral staircase, metal clanging against metal at a deafening pitch. I remember screaming, and I remember my mother racing down the stairs, the touch of her cool hand pressed against my fiery forehead. I remember her tucking me back into bed. The train was not the most frightening thing I saw come down those spiral stairs, though. That honor belongs to poltergeists. 

Issue Four of my children’s literature magazine is now available. Featuring writers and artists of all ages, Autumnatopoeia celebrates the sounds of the fall season. Autumnatopoeia is available in print for $5 or as a pdf for free/pay-what-you-want. $1 from every print sale and all proceeds from pdf sales will be donated to Reading Partners.

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